Cylch Blodeuwedd

You find yourself in a high place… a mount top…. grey rocks….. cloud… barren…. bare…. windswept…. desolate…. alone… lonely…. and cold, so very cold.

 

Presently you hear movement… the trickle of disturbed rocks. Someone… or something… is approaching…. coming closer…. closer…. closer

 

You feel uneasy…. exposed…. vulnerable

 

Suddenly a tall man stands before you…. grizzled hair, scarred face, stocky, with powerful hands and thickset bull-like neck. A small brown dog cringes at his heels.

 

Then he sees you…. and a twisted grin spreads slowly across his face revealing blackened and broken teeth.

 

“You! All alone? We’ll ‘ave some fun!”

 

He begins to slowly move towards you.

 

“Nice and lonely.” His smile slides into an ugly sneer. “Like to sing do yer? Oh, I can make yer sing. I can mek you urt so as you’ll sing and scream those mountain tops right off!”

 

Your mouth goes dry… the hair on the back of your neck begins to rise….. you break out in a cold sweat….

 

The little dog whines and the man turns and kicks out viciously at it. His foot misses and he utters a string of snarling oaths as the little creature scampers away yelping…. only to turn and stand a few yards away whining and keening deep in it’s throat……… it knows what this man is like…….. it knows what this man can do…………………………………….

 

The man’s face becomes set…. hard…. intent…. as he slowly begins to approach you again.

 

You begin to slowly back away….. Fear surges over you like the waves of the sae…..

 

This powerful man can easily overcome you….can so easily hurt you… make you scream……… and enjoy doing it……………………………….

 

Suddenly, you back into hard rock……. nowhere to turn…. nowhere to run to get away from this creature who is stalking you….. you are trapped……………….. The man is much closer now… stretching out his great beefy fists to grab hold of you…… Panic…. tears spring to your eyes and you feel your gorge begin to rise……………..

 

Now the man is close enough to touch you……………. you want to scream………. cry out……… wretch… but you simply cannot move…………..

 

This is it…….. nowhere to hide………….. nowhere to run…………. no way to defend yourself…… no time left…………

 

……….you are about to die….. you are helpless……… this ordinary simple struggle of a life of yours

(2)

seems very precious now…. how you want to cling on to it… how you would love to be able to carry on living it…. how you love to see the clouds billowing over the mountains in the morning……… how you enjoy a scalding hot cup of tea………….. how you love the comfort of a nice warm bath……… sliding between cool clean sheets……… making love to your partner…………. loving your family…………… your parents………… brothers……… sisters…………. children………….. pets…………….your home… your garden…….. loving………….. loving……….. in these last moments before agony begins and life is extinguished you still have one last choice……. to feel love……………. to feel love……………

 

Suddenly you lurch forward… as if you are falling… as if there is a dark black hole beneath you… beneath you… within you – a swirling black hole of emptiness… deepest darkest black, as softest velvet or the darkest starless night…..

 

You are there, swirling around in this dark place…it engulfs you… but it is also you…. all of you…everything you are and ever have been and ever will be…. your essence… your true potential…

 

You are no longer in the hole…. the spinning dark vortex is within you.

 

Suddenly you feel something else stir deep within you….. deep down in your guts at the bottom of your abdomen…. a rumbling shaking fiery breath…..

 

…..a warmth that begins to rise upwards…..

 

….the strength returns to your legs as you notice the threatening thug of a man still standing before you – as if he has been frozen in mid movement….

 

Your stare intently into the man’s eyes…. courage…. the thrusting power of your life force surges up through your body making your whole body tingle…….. feet… legs… hands… arms…. chest… head….

 

Deep within you… from out of that dark swirling hole your inner dragon is awakening…. it is slowly uncoiling it’s long scaly body… panting little puffs of smoke from it’s flaring nostrils…..

 

Higher and higher…. as your dragon takes flight… feel the fiery strength sweep through your body – your whole being……………………. and as it reaches your heart, it feels like a thunderbolt hitting you….. as if your chest will burst…… you stagger and cough with the force of it……………..

 

……………..then recover your balance….. your breath………….and find yourself standing taller and straighter and you feel a warm glow slowly spreading through you as you realise that there is only one thing left that you can do…………..

 

Your heart feels like it will explode as a deep pink mist begins to emanate from your heart…. from your chest……. it is all you can give…. all you have left…..

 

The pink cloud grows larger… brighter….. you begin to realise that it is forming some sort of protection around you and you are beginning to feel safer……..

 

The dragon is also growing larger and roars…. your heart swells uncontrollably with love…. and you begin to smile…. your smile becomes a joyous grin as the pink mist begins streaming out from you….. not just your heart but your whole body…

 

(3)

You tremble with the sheer force of it…. cry out and laugh with the sheer joy of it…. watch in wonder as the love within you spills forth….. everything it touches changes…..the cold dead air is filling with little rainbows and prisms….. the sky is beginning to get lighter…. the grey rocks are melting into shades of brown… green…. purple…. yellow….

And then you notice the man still standing in front of you… he is no longer “frozen” but watching you intently…..gradually the expression on his face is changing…. something deep within his eyes is altering…. there is uncertainty there…. confusion…………………… pain………… he is strangely contorted ….shrunken……

He is still watching you as his limbs wither and recede, while all around him swirls the warm pink mist….. his eyes fill with tears and his face crumples – as if in slow motion – fall in upon itself…..

You watch horrified – this poor pathetic creature – shrinking… dissolving…. before your eyes….. You feel pity… compassion….. as the man becomes a very small child – shivering – trembling – silently crying in front of you as his abusers kick him, laugh at him as he wimpers and twitches…. they are smoking cigarettes but there is also the stench of burnt flesh… pale skin… cuts, burns and bruises… the roar of their laughter as the child begins to scream…..

Your inner dragon answers with a surging spring!

You step forward and look down at the child, feeling nothing but pity and a deep desire to help….

The shades of it’s abusers fall away from you as you bend down and slowly, gently, ever so tenderly, you gather the sobbing child into your arms and hold it to you….

…you look down into the child’s face…. the scarred, vicious face of the man who was about to attack you snarls up at you….

…but this time you are not afraid and know what to do….

You direct the love pouring from your chest onto that face…. smoothing… softening…drying the tears…..

….the man’s face begins to melt away….. the child’s face returns….

Carefully you sit down with the boy cradled in your lap….. you notice his injuries and as you do you see them begin to heal and fade away, one by one, everywhere you look, the pink beams of loving light shine out from you eyes and everything they touch is made whole and well again.

Slowly, you go over the child’s body, looking for wounds, bruises and scars, gently healing them as you see them.

The child is now sleeping peacefully in your arms – healing – recovering – growing clean and whole …

Gently, you place him on a bed of dry bracken at the foot of the cliff and turn to face the rising sun of midsummer…. the last of the clouds swirl swirl and melt away… a golden lightf loods all the valley floor below you, the mountain ridges around you on every side…. bathes you in warm light.

(4)

You spread your arms out towards the sun… your inner dragon fills your body, your mind…. and roars again…. your own dark pool of infinite potential swirls swiftly, silently in your inner core….

You gaze into the distance – seeing people… places… things that you know are hurting…. damaged…. broken….

….but looking with your new eyes, still streaming out beams of pink loving light, you notice first one and then another…. softening…. healing…. as your loving gaze falls gently upon them…. just as it did with the child’s hurts….

Think now of something in your life that needs healing – a person – a relationship – a situation – yourself – see it all before you…. surround it with the love pouring from your eyes… your chest…. gently, without judging it in any way…. just send out your love until it is all completely coated, surrounded… loved…. and leave it to absorb…. to go on healing….

Stand tall.

Know and bless that infinite dark black hole of potential deep within you – feel it there – spinning you with the joyous rhythm of life and love and all that can be….

Feel the dragon of your life force coursing with vigour, courage and joy through your veins….

Seek the blazing sun before you… allow its life-giving heat and light to be absorbed by your body… your mind… your spirit…. filling you, nurturing you, satisfying you…..

Be one with your spirit…. your energies…. your world…. you loving spirit….

…AND KNOW THE POWER OF LOVE…and rejoice…..